Hollywood....

Ok, so this isn't a movie review, but it's a rant against Hollywood in general, so that can go on here, right? Oh well. It's going on here anyways.

Hollywood has a lot of problems and as much as I like movies, some of them cannot just be ignored. And, I plan on listing out all of the inexcusable tics of Hollywood today. Gone are the days of Audrey Hepburn, Spencer Tracy and, yes, Jimmy Stewart. Those were actors that allowed their love of the craft to bleed through onto the screen and into their films. These days, the closest actors we have who display that kind of passion is Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp and they went and made The Tourist, so....there goes that theory. And that's Complaint One: A Lack of Passion. Where did the beauty of film-making go? It's lost in a swirling vortex of no creativity and a lust for money. Thankfully, there are gems like True Grit and Inception to keep my faith in the industry alive.

Complaint Number Two: Fast-talking (yes, I'm looking at YOU, Jesse Eisenberg.)

Listen to me and listen to me good, Hollywood. There is one man in the industry that can talk fast; ONE man. And that man is Vince Vaughn.

This...is that man.

Vince Vaughn is the one man who can pull off a fast-talking monologue without it becoming annoying or letting his words slide together. He has literally made it an art form and I respect it. However, The Dilemma dropped that respect a bit when he monologued almost literally every 5 minutes. Every other time though, it's an art.

But, lately, fast-talking seems to be the newest "trend" which totally kills the humor and appeal that Vince Vaughn gives it. Example? Jesse Eisenberg in the first five minutes of The Social Network. And pretty much every other time he talks. But, the opening scene of Social Network was painful. He spoke so quickly that it was barely possible to understand what he was saying. In five minutes, he has completely and totally obliterated the comedic genius of Vince Vaughn. And for that, he lost the respect given to him for being in Zombieland.

And he's attractive to boot!

Complaint Number Three: The Panel That Votes For Golden Globes

Ok, I've never seen/met any of these people, but I'm assuming they're all super old. And, as demonstrated by the winners this year, they kind of a mediocre taste in movies. First of all, how in the heck did Social Network beat out Inception for at least three Golden Globes?! I have personally seen both of these films and Inception is definitely the better film. It's a better plot, better acted and just generally amazing. Social Network is pretty boring and honestly, hard to watch. Inception was beautiful, reintroducing the generation to the passionate and amazing art form that is film-making. Social Network is a movie based on an exaggerated versions of the life of a nerd. Also, it's music is terrible (Inception's is like Mozart meets Beethoven). So, I think it's time to replace the panel of Golden Globe judges.

Complaint Number Four: Christopher Nolan's lack of an Oscar win

This is a major injustice for which I am deeply upset. Christopher Nolan is responsible for three of the GREATEST MOVIES of my lifetime: Inception. Batman Begins. The Dark Knight. And he has a THIRD Batman movie in the works, due to release next summer.

As someone who would love to write/direct movies, Christopher Nolan is my hero. And now, the Oscars have denied him his oh-so-deserved Best Director win. He isn't even in the running! You know who did win Best Director? I don't either. I don't think anyone does. You know why? Because he is probably a no-name loser who has directed some little "free-spirited" movie where all the characters die in the end. And he beat Christopher Nolan. It SICKENS me.

*EDITORS NOTE: I looked it up, and no, Christopher Nolan didn't win. No one has yet. But, you can check out all the nominee's here. That last paragraph was mainly to demonstrate my passion over this. I actually enjoyed the work of most of these nominees (that I saw, anyways)*

That's all I've got now. Thank you for letting me rant. I do so appreciate it.