Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch 
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
Directed by: Zach Snyder
Cast: Emily Browning as Baby Doll
Abbie Cornish as Sweet Pea
Jena Malone as Rocket
Vanessa Hudgens as Blondie
Jamie Chung as Amber
Carla Gugino as Dr. Vera Gorski
Oscar Isaac as Blue Jones

Rated PG-13
*The following may contain spoilers* 
 Freedom. Everyone wants it. From the time you're a child, you want to be free from your parents. Later, you want to be free from school and authority. The girls in sucker Punch want to be free from their own personal hell.

Based on a graphic novel of the same name, Sucker Punch follows the story of a girl who is placed in a mental hospital after her mother and sisters death. Her stepfather signs her away to be lobotomized in 5 days, paying the head doctor $2,000 to make her "disappear." We never learn the girls name, instead we only know her as Baby Doll, a name the other patients gave her.


As her stepdad walks away, the story shifts. The dingy and musty hospital is now a smoky, vibrantly colored club. This club is run by Blue Jones who is also the head doctor. The club is a back part of the hospital, which appears to be a type of brothel in which the girls dance for potential clients before they're "hired." It's a sick and twisted world these girls are forced to reside in and though its never made perfectly clear, I believe the club is just a fantasy to try and easy the pain with some type of glamor.
Baby Doll quickly makes friends with four other girls known as Rocket, Blondie, Amber and Sweet Pea. Together, they decide to escape, not only to save Baby Doll from her surgery but to save what little souls they have left. Forming a plan, the girls begin to fight their way to freedom each knowing their lives hang in the balance.

What I Liked: 
As you read above the plot for this movie is slightly insane, in an incredible kind of way. It's difficult to capture the true essence of what made Sucker Punch spectacular through text, but I'm going to try.
The plot itself was a thing of beauty. Creatively exploring the girls pain, it not only followed their actions, but their emotions. The whole film was super charged with raw energy that came from the girls being utterly burned up and desperate to escape by any means necessary.

To help the plot along were some outstanding visual effects. *SPOILER* The girls need to find four items (a map, fire, a knife and a key) in order to escape. To do this, they must distract the men who have these items and take them from them. Baby Doll turns out to be an exquisite dancer, capable of practically hypnotizing the men with her skill. This is their distraction; Baby doll dances while the other girls "pickpocket" the items from them. And, here's where the plot comes back into play.

Instead of just watching Baby Doll dance for two hours, Sucker Punch takes us into the girls imaginations as they glamorize what they're doing in their minds. This is a really cool idea. It not only allows for some amazing fight sequences with dragons, stone ninjas and Nazi robots to make some kind of sense, but also uses an amazing amount of imagery that you rarely seen these days. For example, the "fire" item will come from a lighter and the only lighter Baby Doll had seen recently had a red dragon on it. So, when they attempt to get the lighter, she imagines that they're fighting a dragon. Make sense? Well, it's cool anyways.

What really tied the whole experience together was the sincerely epic cinematography. Besides having one of the most fantastic opening sequences I've ever seen, the camera was almost another actor, adding even more depth to the overall feel of the movie. Using mirrors, reflections and slow motion, Sucker Punch managed to expound actions and deepen conversations, just by the camera angles. It was quite impressive.

Add to all of that the dragon, stone ninjas, Nazi robots and space train theft while blowing up robots and you get one insane kick-butt awesome movie.

What I Didn't Like: 
Personally, I thought the whole thing came together beautifully and really don't have any personal complaints. However, in an effort to be informative, I'll mention the "un-homeschooled" parts here.

As I mentioned above, the club appears to be a type of brothel and though nothing in that area is ever expressly admitted, there are lots of illusions. On top of that, Baby Doll's dances (which the audience never actually see) are described as "gyrating and moaning." The girls also dress rather provocatively, even in their imaginations and the skirts tend to ride a little high as they jump, flip and shoot.

Also, since they're busy blowing things up, the violence gets a little heavy, employing the "Samurai Jack" method of spraying other things from the wounds instead of blood; white light, jets of air and robot parts are all used in Sucker Punch. While not nearly as graphic as real blood, it's still effectively violent. In the real world, Blue gets stabbed and is shown bleeding. There are several other instances of violence and blood, but those spoilers are a little too big to give away.

The violence really was the biggest "bad" part, however there was a little bit of language. Four uses of the s-word and one use of GD. Amber shouts "holy...!" but the second word is drowned out and Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) shouts "Take that, Mother..." and mouths the second half of the phrase. So much for that Disney Channel image.

Uhh...Disney what?

Final Thoughts: 
Overall, Sucker Punch blew me away. Visually dynamic, emotionally captivating and unexpectedly dark and thought-provoking, Sucker Punch is what every comic book movie aspires to be and sets the standard for everything in the future. However, it is only for a certain audience. Due to the violence and outfits, I would suggest that no one under 13 see it. Hear that kiddos? Spencer says no. Ask your parents.
As for the older crowd, if you're into kick-butt action movies, you need to see Sucker Punch like right now.


When Should You See It? NOW! Weren't you listening?? Or, if you're cheap just wait until I buy it on Blu-Ray the day it comes out and borrow it then.

Personal Rating: 9 of 10
Plot: 9.5 of 10
Sexuality/Sensuality: 6 of 10
Drugs/Alcohol: 1 of 10

Battle: Los Angeles

Battle: Los Angeles
Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman
Cast: Aaron Eckhart as SSgt. Michael Nantz
Michelle Rodriguez as TSgt. Elena Santos
Bridget Moynahan as Michelle
Rated PG-13

*The following may contain spoilers*
 There has been a hole in the movie theaters recently.
 Not literally, but it seems like the only new things coming to theaters are comedies, dramas and Liam Neeson. And I've seen most of them. In the midst of all of these genres, one seems to be missing leaving a void in the science-fictions fan heart. What Hollywood is missing is a good alien movie.

Thankfully, Battle: Los Angeles arrived in theaters this weekend and it delivered. After a rather ingenious advertising campaign where all the commercials told you that it would be an alien movie, Battle: LA delivered not only as a fantastic edition to the Alien Invasion Movie franchise, but also as an emotional and well made film.

What I Liked:
It's rare to find a well acted sci-fi film these days. Whether the script is just bad or the movie is lame, the few science fiction movies that do make it into theaters seem to come up short in the acting department. Battle: LA was different.
Aaron Eckhart commanded the screen as Staff Sergent Michael Nantz, bringing the emotion he needed to round out his character. Backed up by a great supporting cast, the whole experience was very real and quite emotional, another rarity, especially when soldiers are involved. The chemistry of the cast was also great and they felt like a real team throughout the movie.

The cinematography for the film was excellent. Many of the shots felt like they were filmed through a soldiers eyes; the camera would shake up and down as the soldiers ran and peer into a room over their shoulder. Overall, it helped give the audience a deeper immersion into the film.
Besides the camera work, the landscape images were pretty terrific. Nothing says doom day like the image of the Los Angeles landscape burning in the setting sun. Combine that with the up close landscape the soldiers fought on and the end result was incredible.
On top of all that, the aliens managed to be original and frightening, mainly due to the way the camera avoided lingering on them. It kind of left the process of creation up to you. Very impressive.

What I Didn't Like: 
I know that there are soldiers in here, so there's going to be cussing but I was expecting a lot less from a PG-13 movie. I counted 94 cuss words. S**t was their favorite with a total count of 42 uses for that word ALONE and 12 uses of the Lord's name paired with d**n. This was my biggest complaint. I just get tired of hearing the same four-letter words over and over again. 

Final Thoughts:
At the end of the movie, Battle: LA was just another alien movie. There really wasn't anything special about it. It won't win any awards and I doubt it will be remembered three years from now, but it is definitely the long overdue alien movie that fans have been waiting for. 

When Should You See It? 
If you're into the alien movie genre, this film is definitely worth your time and money. Go now.
If you're not into the alien movie genre, I don't even know why you're reading this. You probably won't see it anyways.

Personal Rating: 7.5 of 10
Plot: 8 of 10

Language: 9 of 10
Violence: 6 of 10
Lots of explosions and a few blood stains and splashes, but, hey, its an alien movie.

Red Riding Hood

Red Riding Hood

Directed by: Catherine Hardwicke
Cast: Amanda Seyfried as Valerie (Red Riding Hood)
Gary Oldman as Father Solomon
Billy Burke as Cesaire
Random Guys as The Love Interests (Henry and Peter)

Rated PG-13

*The following may contain spoilers* 

I'll say it once again, Hollywood is out of ideas. Now, we're retelling Red Riding Hood. No one has ever done that before. Granted, this one looked interesting. The wolf is actually a werewolf that wants to eat Amanda Seyfried, so...that's kind of new.

What I failed to realize is that this movie was directed by the same woman who directed Twilight...and was fired afterward. If you're bad enough to get fired from the Twilight franchise, you need a new career path. 

But, alas, Catherine Hardwicke pressed on and gave us the pile of mis-matched random crap that is 2011's excuse for the Red Riding Hood story.

What I Liked:

Not much to put in this area. I wasn't expecting much from the movie, but this one was just bad. For the first time, I walked away and sincerely wanted my money back. I can't emphasize how BAD this movie was. But, for the sake of putting something in this category, I'll try and find something good about it.

....

....

....

Um, well, the...snow was cool looking...I guess.

Seriously though, props are given where props are due and I have to give Amanda Seyfried credit. She did an excellent job with what she was given and carried the film for as long as she could (about 20 minutes). So, congratulations Amanda (since you're totally reading this), you were the only decent thing about this movie. You and your amazing eyes.

Amazing.

What I Didn't Like: 

ALL OF IT. I said above that I couldn't emphasize how bad it was but I'm going to try. 

The only thing that made me remotely interested in this film was the somewhat original concept of the wolf being a werewolf and killing everything. Essentially, it was the fantasy aspect and the violence. And that was taken away. 

Yes, the wolf was a werewolf and only came out at night (Proving that Catherine Hardwicke knows what a real werewolf is) and yes, there was blood. Quite a bit of it too. But the fantasy was shoved into the background and replaced with a weird love triangle. Great. 

Here we go again.

So, yeah. Red Riding was now Twilight except Bella's wearing red and there are no vampires. Nice to know Catherine Hardwicke is capable of some originality. To make matters worse, remember that "Cesaire" guy I mentioned in the "Cast" section? Well, he's Valerie's father, played by Billy Burke. He might sound familiar to some Twilight fans because, as it turns out, he also plays Charlie, Bella's father. Real subtle, Catherine Hardwicke. You disgust me.

Also, the reason Amanda Seyfried carried the whole thing was because the other actors were possibly and probably recruited from a street corner. They were incredibly bad. Everything they did felt fake and scripted so the whole experience was painful to watch and failed to create any kind of convincing world. I was never pulled into the world. I always knew I was watching a movie. A really bad, Twilight rip-off movie. Even her "love interests" couldn't act and they're the other two main characters!!! And speaking of the love interests...

I'll go ahead and say it, I saw the Twilight movies and read the books. I even called myself a fan at one point. It's just about as bad as everyone says, but Stephanie Meyer balances the mushy, emotional junk with a little bit of action. 

Riding Hood didn't. Instead, audiences are forced to endure lengthy overacted and over-dramatized conversations between Valerie and her interests. It's terrible. And, thanks to Robert Pattinson, every teenage actor in a movie believes that you need a husky, quiet voice to be attractive. So, you endure that plus some terrible dialogue and random kissing scenes for a very random and weird Twilight remake with extra, added drama.

I say random in the most literal way. The movie flashed between memories and dream sequences so often that occasionally forgot what was actually going on. The emotional parts aren't really that convincing either. Peter (the main guy) randomly decides that he doesn't want Valerie anymore and leaves her because "he's not good enough for her." But she argues that she loves him, no matter what. Then comes in the second guy. Wait, this all sounds really familiar...

This point will continue to be made.

So, on top of the unconvincing Twilight plot, there's also a random lesbian-type encounter (Valerie dances suggestively with another girl to make Peter jealous) and several "oh it's dark, let's party" moments. 

Then, as the plot begins to climax, they decide to actually follow the plot of the original Red Riding Hood story and condense it into three minutes before the movie ends.

If you notice, I have not given the usual plot outline for this movie. That's because I don't want it to sound interesting. This article contains everything you need to know.

Final Thoughts: 

It was just bad. Seemingly thrown together on a budget of ten dollars, Red Riding Hood attempted to be visually dynamic, suspenseful and dramatic but ended up missing the big picture because it paid too much attention to the details. Overall, it was poorly written, directed and acted, appearing as the first embarrassing blemish on Amanda Seyfried's otherwise successful career. Like Batman and Robin to George Clooney.

George Clooney and everyone else in this crapfest.

When Should You See It? 

If you have any self respect at all, you just won't see it. However, if you enjoy torturing yourself and wasting time, at least wait for it on DVD. It'll be out in like three weeks anyway. 

Personal Rating: 2 of 10 (D-)

Plot: 2 of 10

Sexuality/Sensuality: 3 of 10

Spiritual Aspects: 2 of 10

As the trailer shows, a priest is called in to hunt the wolf and multiple references are made to the "holy ground" of church.

Drugs/Alcohol: 1 of 10 

Her dad gets drunk and passes out on the ground.

The Adjustment Bureau

The Adjustment Bureau

Directed by: George Nolfi
Cast: Matt Damon as David Norris

Emily Blunt as Elise Sellas
Rated PG-13

*The following may contain spoilers*
Fate is an interesting thing. Everyone seems to be obsessed with the idea of free will. The idea of controlling our own destiny sends us on a power trip as we place ourselves as the god of our own lives.

But, what if your fate was controlled by people who walked among us, holding the plans for our lives in a book? Infinite details about your own life's destiny are within reach. This idea becomes reality in the new movie, The Adjustment Bureau.

Based on the short story, The Adjustment Team by Phillip K. Dick, Adjustment Bureau tells the story of a man and a woman who try to overcome the predetermined plan for lives in order to be together.

David Norris is a congressman whose career isn't going the way he planned. On the eve of a lost election, he meets a beautiful woman and the two share an instant connection, but she runs off before David even gets her name.

Fast forward a month; David is "retired" from politics and starting a new job. On the bus, he encounters the woman once again and finally catches her name. Elise leaves her his number and the two exit the bus. When David enters his office building, he walks in on a group of men holding things up to his friend's head. After a quick chase through the office, the men subdue David and knock him out.

Upon awakening, he learns that this group of men are "adjusters," people who monitor people's lives to make sure that they "stay on track." They walk among us, adjusting things accordingly to keep the world in balance. David has gone off plan. He was never supposed to have seen Elise again and they burn her number so that he can never find her again. Before letting him go, the Adjusters threaten to erase David's mind if he ever tells anyone about them.

Since this is Hollywood, David eventually runs into Elise...three years later. She's still single and they both hit it off, picking up from the last time they met. Now aware of the Adjusters, David does everything he can to keep Elise close to him but the Adjustment Bureau is doing everything they can to stop him, all for the sake of "the plan."

What I Liked:

The plot of Adjustment Bureau was very new. I can honestly say I have never seen anything quite like it before and that felt really good. As I've said recently, Hollywood has lacked originality the last few months but Adjustment Bureau helped reintroduce a standard for movies to be held to.

I also loved the portrayal of the characters. Matt Damon and Emily Blunt both did a phenomenal job of bringing life and depth into ordinary people. I was enthralled while watching them, amazed by the way they kept their characters real and interesting, a feat that is hard to do and not often found in a science-fiction type thriller. Usually, they have super powers.

Of course, David and Elise are in love in the film and both do everything in their power to stay with each other. While this formula is not uncommon, the portrayal of it and the raw emotion that each of the actors brought to the film seemed to give it a whole new element. Once again, I responded to the actors in an unusual way, feeling uncommonly sad at the obstacles they had to overcome and likewise that much more excited at their triumphs.

On top of the brilliant acting, the film delivered magnificently in the area of effects and presentation. The cinematography was exquisite, showing the passing of time in between the meeting periods and then subtly working the camera shots so that the Adjusters felt inhuman without any real explanation why.

In the area of effects, there weren't a lot, but those it had were great. For example, the Adjusters can travel quickly by jumping from doorway to doorway, using them as a type of portal. With this dynamic, the film pulled off one of the coolest chase scenes I've ever scene as the Adjusters tried to keep up with David as he ran down the street. There were no explosions or flashes of light, but seeing a Chinese restaurants door open up into Central Park is not only cool, its a subtle effect that causes the audience to go "wow" and gives them an idea of the power the Adjusters have.

What I Didn't Like:

Unfortunately, this section is just about as long as the first.

The main thing that kept me from triumphantly leaving the theater when the credits rolled was the very weird and somewhat contradicting spiritual aspect. The Adjusters seem to represent angels, reporting to a higher ranking being they call "The Chairman." The Chairman is meant to represent God, which was confirmed when one of the Adjusters says, "[We just call him the Chairman], you call him many other things."

Now, that wouldn't really be that bad. Allegory's take many different forms. The weird part comes from the fact that David is essentially fighting the Chairman (aka fighting God) the whole film. You know that plan David is fighting against? The Chairman wrote that. It represents the future that God has set aside for all of us.

This aspect gets weirder when you consider the little speech Alan Arkin gives Matt Damon. Essentially, Alan tells Damon that the Adjusters are there and so heavily involved in his life because the humans are not "mature enough to have free will." He recounts times that the Adjusters "stepped back" and gave the humans control. It resulted in the Dark Ages, the two World Wars and the Cuban Missile Crisis. So, according to this, the humans have to be monitored because we can't make our own big decisions.

So, basically, the Adjusters (angels) who work for the Chairman (God) are telling us that their cannot be any free will in the world. But, I'm pretty sure that undermines the whole Christian faith. God gave us free will to choose Him. We were created for that purpose, yet, according to the Adjusters, we can't handle that.

To make matters worse, in the end (SPOILER) David and Elise look for the Chairman to try and convince him to rewrite their plan. And he does it. No, they never actually see him, but he basically sends them a "Get Out of Jail Free" card with a blank plan. Then the ending voice-over talks about how all the Chairman really wants is us to be able to find our own free will. Translated as "We need to overcome his plan for us anyways." Uhh...

I know it's a movie, but the whole thing felt like such a blatant slap in the face of Christianity that I left with a sour taste in mouth.

Couple that whole thing with the insane amount of language (I counted 25 expletives, including two f-words and 2 uses of the Lords name in vain, once coupled with d***) and the rather suggestive sex scene and almost everything I liked about the movie is negated.

Final Thoughts:

I originally saw a trailer for Adjustment Bureau back in July, when I first saw Inception. The trailer showed me everything I was looking for in a movie; action, romance, a little bit of science-fiction and a great plot, so I was excited.

Unfortunately, my excitement has disappeared, replaced now with an uncomfortable knot in the pit of my stomach. What could have been an excellent film was ruined by the unnecessary inclusion of a seemingly shoved in religious hating plot element and I left disappointed. The taste of something sweet is alway overrun by something bitter.

When Should You See It? If you can look past the anti-God element, I'd say theaters. If not, wait for it on DVD or just don't see it at all.

Personal Rating: 7 of 10
Plot: 8 of 10
Sexuality/Sensuality: 4 of 10
Spiritual Aspects: 8 of 10
Drugs/Alcohol: 1.5 of 10

I Am Number Four

I Am Number Four
Directed by: D.J. Caruso
Cast: Alex Pettyfer as John
Timothy Olyphant as Henri
Dianna Agron as Sarah

Rated PG-13

*The following may contain spoilers*

Inspiration comes from everywhere and everything. Lately, Hollywood has been drawing upon popular books and book series to inspire the theater line up. It's a good idea, in theory. Some book-turned-movies do pretty well and that tells the Hollywood executives to do more (thank you, Harry Potter).

Unfortunately, there are two problems with this plan for originality: 1) the movie will never be as good as the book so the fans will never be completely satisfied and 2) books aren't always original either.

I Am Number Four was a new-ish twist on a classic tale. It tells the story of a young man with a set of unique abilities who must hide in society and act like a normal teenager. His name is Clark, er, uh, I mean, John.

Yes, essentially, Number Four is a movie version of Smallville. John is an alien from a distant planet sent to Earth to hide from the enemies that destroyed his home. The new-ish part comes in when we find out that there are nine of these aliens scattered across the planet, hiding from their mutual enemy, an alien race called the Mogans (or something). The bad news is, the Mogans have found the kid-aliens on earth and are picking them off, one-by-one. Three are already dead and John is next. He is Number Four. All the commercials make sense now, don't they?

Like I said, Number Four is basically a retelling of Superman's childhood, if Superman's childhood was produced by Michael Bay. There's a romance, the discovering of superpowers and some major explosions and wicked cool action scenes. Overall, it was actually pretty good.

What I Liked:
Number Four is nothing you haven't seen before and based on the commercials you've probably seen (this thing has a huge ad budget), you're probably not really interested. But, the thing that sets Number Four apart isn't in the originality of the story but how they tell it.

I was always bored by Superman. He was too cliche, too invincible and the fact that every villain he faced always had a box full of the one thing that could hurt seemed a bit too unrealistic, even for a comic book. Number Four is different. Yes, John has some pretty sweet powers, but he's not invincible. In fact, there are several times where he almost gets his butt handed to him in a fight and has to be rescued.

Not only that, John has to deal with falling in love and pursuing the girl. He has to handle the bullies in school without his powers and goes through "alien puberty" as his powers come in (painful changes, lots of sweating and he eventually becomes more athletic).

John is human. That's what sets this movie apart. He deals with human issues first and uses his powers second. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of action sequences and explosions but it's the subtle humanistic traits that John has that make him a great hero.

I also liked the pacing of Number Four. The beginning was heavily packed with information and might have seemed drawn out to some, but I feel that a lot of movies miss their chance to set up the story properly and Number Four set it up perfectly. It helped that the audience learned about John's powers as he did, instead of everything being in the narrative. It gave the film a more natural feel.

Number Four also did a pretty good job of keeping the audience interested. A little of that is the pacing and story, but the acting throughout helped the whole experience come together. In the end, I was rooting for John a lot more than I expected to be, especially since the ending was obvious. SPOILER: He wins.

What I Didn't Like:
Going back to the previously mentioned pacing, the ending seemed a little rushed. They fought the bad guys and then the next scene cuts to them preparing to leave. I just would have liked a little bit more down time for John and the newly entered Number 6 to maybe discuss their next move instead of just kind of saying, "Okay, moving on."

One of my biggest complaints was the language. It was pretty rough and pretty frequent with multiple and repeated uses of the s-word and one or two uses of inappropriate slang for human anatomy.

My only other issue was the CGI (Computer Generated Images, for those of you who aren't nerds). It was varied, ranging from okay to really bad throughout the movie. The okay instances came whenever John fired up his Iron Man-like photon/Force-powered hands. The glowing orb of light looked more like he had a hole in his palms. The really bad occurred whenever the two giant alien-dinosaur beasts arrived (randomly) and had a two-minute fight scene in the high-school shower room. It's always risky to have a scene containing only CGI images in a real-world setting, especially if it's not done correctly but it's Michael Bay and since when has he listened to the rules of CGI?

The answer to that would be: NEVER

Besides those little hiccups, the rest is pretty standard. There are a couple people that get thrown into walls and trees, blood is shown a few times, there's a party with red solo cups, though its never clear what's in them and there are two long kisses with the love interest.

Final Thoughts:
Overall, I left the theater feeling pretty happy with the film (I also only paid $2.50 for it, so take that into consideration). Yes, its an old story, but there's only so much you can do before some ideas begin to get reused and Number Four had just enough originality and "oomph" in the storytelling to keep it enjoyable.

When You Should See It: Dollar Theater or DVD.
It's good, but not $7.50 good.

Personal Rating: 6 of 10
Plot: 5 of 10
Sexuality/Sensuality: 0.5 of 10
Spiritual Aspects: 1 of 10 (it's a stretch, but I'm sure someone could piece something together.)
Drugs/Alcohol: 0.5 of 10 (and even that's unclear.)